ODE to WD-40

Ode to WD-40

I’ve often found products I wish I could go on the road and sell. Glamorously of course…kind of like a book signing, or red carpet opening of some kind. Maybe I could do trade shows. Anyway,
I love WD-40.

It’s quite a perfect product and should be included in all Welcome New baby gift packs that the hospital gives to new moms. There alongside the sanitary pads, the single dose of aspirin, the single dose of mouthwash, and two newborn size Pampers, sample size of formula and a small can of WD-40. It’s a great IDEA!
Why one might ask?

Well, it has so many versatile uses! Sure, sure there are industrial uses, but hey, what would I know of those uses? I know that WD-40 can calm the fears of any mom whose 8 year old boy comes in with black top from a new street or driveway dug into the knees of their new jeans and on the heels of their white $50+ gym shoes. First, the knees, spray on the WD, let it set a minute, and take a dry cloth and work it around, lifting the tar. It will leave a grease mark, no doubt, but a little degreaser, like Lestoil or Pine Sol can get that out. (I prefer Lestoil, cuz it works faster, and it conjures familiar smells like a day at the zoo-I’m sure that they clean the lions cages with LesToil) Then put in your normal wash when the tar is all gone! Presto!
Kids used a permanent black JUMBO marker to make posters on your dining room table, linoleum floor or counter top? WD-40 to the rescue! Spray some on, wipe away the permanent marker with a paper towel!
Gum on new white shoes? Cinch! OLD yucky sticky gum on clean new expensive purse bottom? Easy!
Pen or ink on the couch? WD with the degreaser chaser to the rescue!
Got an old sticker stuck to the fridge? Simply wipe it away after spraying on WD! No scrubbing, no sticky mess. Stickers that have been through the washer or the dishwasher and left a gooey grimey mess? WD-40, yes that’s right. The W-D (UU dee-four-oh).
I tried it to remove lipstick that had been washed and dried on a white polyester smock. The lipstick stayed on after a wash and hot dryer. I used WD-40 and Lestoil and got it out!
Crayon you ask? Sure, no problem-o.
“How do you remove ground in grass stains?” Wd-40 and degreaser!
WD-40 does take the squeak out of the door hinges, loosen up screws that are too old or too rusty for weak little feminine hands to conquer too. But it’s a great cure all for things one thinks that are ruined.
I think if you spray it on a rag and wrap it around your head, it would cure a migraine! Spray it on your toes and it takes away toe fungus, athlete’s foot and it may remove I LOVE Billy Bob tattoo’s. Oh, now, I’m carried away.
I’d attach a coupon if I had one, but the good folks at WD-40, well, they haven’t answered my letters. Yet.