Wednesday, August 27, 2008

If the Pants zip, WEAR EM

The package arrived in a timely manner. Underneath the plastic wrapping were three fall additions to my wardrobe. Suits that were chosen for their color, cost and I am embarrassed to admit, their size, which is one size larger than the rest of their closet companions. My ego bruised enough at the failed attempt to lose the few pounds necessary to keep the rest of my wardrobe comfortable, I had to give in, and order a few new pieces to wear to work. It is with deep regret and sorrow I find I must write the letter below. Aw, who am I kidding – it’s time that the garment industry pays for it’s crimes on humanity namely WOMEN of FASHION!

Dear Fashion Garment Industry:

While I find it endearing that you seek to bring exciting and fashionable clothing into my life by sending catalogs to my home, please allow me to recant to you my personal experience, some might say “woes”, as of late.
Trying to introduce a few casual suits into my wardrobe, I ordered three very similar styles of two piece suits in a rayon blend, size 14. (Those of you who know me, please don’t gasp here) They arrived in a neatly packaged plastic bag, individually cased in clear plastic wrap. Before I placed them onto hangers, I tried them on. Reluctantly, I might add, although I saved myself the embarrassment of yet another brightly lit and mirror tainted department store dressing room.
Of the three suits I ordered, all the same size, one suit fit nicely, one too tight, and one suit’s pants wouldn’t zip.
Isn’t it enough that Americans are experiencing large increases in food costs, we are gouged at the pump for gasoline and now, the Guatamalian sweat shop laborers have “punked” us by creating the fa├žade of yet another hike in my weight. By creating pants in a willy, nilly fashion to cause a frenzy of terror among unsuspecting American women. I know, I know, the $1.25 a day you pay the sweet sweat shop girls to deliver the goods directly to my doorstep isn’t nearly enough to avenge my cries of “Unfair”. I beg, I swear, I’m trying to get down in these too tight pants, to my knees to beg of you…send the garments to CHINA!
Why China you may ask? Because I searched my closet and that of other trendsetters in my social circle and our well made, really well fitting clothes (although the price drastically is increased!) are made not in Guatamala, or Vietnam, or even in Haiti, nope, China does it good!
“Made in China” is what I found on the tag of my favorite black Ellen Tracy suit. (that and Dry Clean Only) Made in China on my Chico’s, Made in China written sideway’s on my Dana Buchman jacket and skirts and even on the cute pink shell with the fitted waist. I think maybe the Chinese not only create good Olympian’s but their ready to wear fits me well, is durable and stylish. So, while I order another bucket of chicken fried rice and veggies, order me up some new fall Made in China stuff m’kay? Oh, and by the way don’t bother with the catalogs filled with pages of polyester pantsuits in “Guess My Size”.

Ok, so maybe they aren't geniuses with thier choice of haberdashery, but dog gone it, swords as accessories are Kick Ass!


Sarah said...

I think it's a conspiracy. You can try on 3 things all the "same size" and have them fit differently. really need to learn photo shop.
And then teach me.

JackeeG4glamorous said...

S: I thought my photoshopping was was good. Perfect no. Hey, it took me about an hour to superimpose my head onto that Chinese dude.

Swistle said...

This kind of thing makes me crazy! I order three Old Navy t-shirts in the same size, and one is too small and one is baggy under the armpits. Whuh?

Manager Mom said...

Hey... looks like someone downloaded Capture Express!

And, I am also perpetually annoyed by the fact that the numerical sizes of anything are pretty much irrelevant.