I’ve stated before that I LOVE to shop. Yep, I’m a shopper. *said with a head tilt and flirty little grin.
I’m known to stop after work and lurk around department store counters, smelling perfumes, lingering over the jewelry, purses, shoes, house wares, children’s clothing YOU name it. I’m jazzed. I own 6,405 pairs of black slacks and 4,597 pairs of black shoes in various styles (according to husband). I read sales ads voraciously, envisioning myself in the various seasons’ styles REGARDLESS of the fact that they will look sweet on me.
I was leafing through today’s paper while eating my no-fat-no-flavor lunch and a department store flyer dropped onto my lap. The MFing HORROR! (This is where you gasp aloud, waiting for something big…perhaps a large ugly spider, but no, I’m dramatic that way that’s all)School Supplies!
Don’t get me wrong, I love the smell of fresh pencils and crisp double pocket portfolios in bright colors too. But school supplies are for fall and football games and clean new sneakers and vivid autumn colors. School supplies signify the end of summer, get your act together mom/kids, no more sleeping late, get out, go to school.
What the hell! Am I mistaken or have I just put away the leftover potato salad and fished the barely cooled sparkler wire out of my hair from the 4th of July? I’ve just taken my cashmere sweater to the dry cleaners and purchased those cute little chocolate brown walking shorts with some matching beaded sandals with a kitten heel. (I’ve hid a black pair, feigning ignorance of their existence if any husbands are out there reading) Come ON marketing folks, give us a collective break I say.
Any of you holiday Type A’s going to start school shopping yet? And the Horror that it represents is this…
Once you begin to see the School Supplies, the aisles of (insert your favorite store here) will start setting out fall and Halloween decorations.
I’ve yet to experience the blush of a suntan and you want me to think of my Thanksgiving menu? Start collecting Turkey Points and then, whoosh, wrap those Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza presents. Damn you Santa, I’ve been good, what’s the rush?! (Santa gives me the creeps sometimes now that I’m a “grown up”)
168 shopping days till Christmas Day!
Auld Lang Syne my friend. Auld Lang Syne.