Friday, May 16, 2008

TODAY is FRIDAY!

Friday’s are the best thing in the whole world today! What a crazy statement and can’t you just ENVISION my enthusiastic little face typing the keystrokes with VIGOR?

Ahhhhh. This post will be about some odd things, because my ADD has run amuk and fully formed paragraphs on one subject may/will be hard.

Who the heck gave their nod of approval to the guy who decided to leave little messages on the slip of paper that covers the adhesive on the back of ALWAYS thin maxi pads? OMG! Like a fortune cookie spewing random well-wishes, to random users, randomly annoying me to no end, I will STAY-FREE from now on. (I can hear you groan Sarah, do you know that?)

I still pay some bills in the archaic way of OLDE, I write checks. I realize that this is truly archaic, in that my own mother writes checks and has some poor fool (sorry Carl or Me) take them to the post office to post so that Near’ –Do- Wells do not steal them. ANYWAYS, before I was interrupted….sometimes I act crazy and write a little note on the FOR____________, line of the check. Ie: for: ridiculously overpriced utilities. Or, for: those Fabulous sling back, open -toed black heels. Etc. It’s like my own sick, lonely version of Message in a Bottle.

If your son or daughter is 4 years of age and walking through Target right now sucking on a pacifier, Stop, do not pass Go, do not collect $200, RUN to the nearest exit before some old lady assaults you. Or him/her. Or she calls Child Protection Services because you suck as a parent.

I have not lost the verve totally to blog, although I cannot entice readers. How do they do it? Hmmmmm? But,(said defensively, refusing to believe I suck at blogging) I have refrained from giving my blog address out to certain co-workers and friends. What does that say about me?

If your cell just rang up a VM text message - RUN Dammit to that exit, because my one or two readers has just warned you (about me! No less) to toss out the Binky! What is with you?

My husband has been gone all week on a fishing trip. I miss him dearly, but have loved "my time" sleeping spread eagle on the bed, eating diet crap, exercising, and doing weird crap, chatting all the while with the dog. No pictures please. I do have one thing that I’m saving for him to fix. I may have diet ice-cream sandwiches and cheese for dinner.

The local florist delivered the flowers he ordered before he left, a week early, totally blowing the 8th Anniversary surprise that he intended for next week. The bouquet is absolutely beautiful! HUGE, and I have it here on the edge of my desk - so the patients who pass by, talking loudly, they can’t see my head behind it. Gift twofold! Fabulous!

I have an illness, polyshopamania, I cannot pass a Clearance rounder, I cannot resist a Marked Down tag - my trained eye can spot a red “Reduced” sticker at a few yards. I shop when I am sad and when I am happy. Shopping is my drug. Hence, I have clutter. I have needs…like books and shoes, and kitchen gadgets and all things for grandchildren, and lingerie and scrapbooking, and um, everything!

My new saying for 2008 is “Everyday Throw Away”. I have been slacking in this realm, some days I try to catch up by throwing two or more items away. Leftovers do not count. I will leave you today with this thought…look around you….recycle it, throw it away or eat it.

3 comments:

Robin said...

You crack me up! If it makes you feel better, I also have not shared my blog with everyone I know in real life, especially colleagues. Mostly because it would blow my cover that I sometimes blog while I am here, while I am supposed to be working. Gaa! Happy Friday!

Sarah said...

When Brian writes me checks he puts something snarky in the memo like "for lapdances" or "for Lovin'" or "wifely duties". Once he even put "crotchless panties" I just LOVE to cash those!

addhumorandfaith said...

Just popped over from I Should Be Folding Laundry via your daughter's blog. What I was told about increasing readership when I started blogging last September was to spend twice as much time visiting and commenting on other blogs as you do writing your own blog! It works! I used to feel guilty about the amount of time I was doing this, but I've decided it just replaces some of my book reading. And blogs are addictive -- they are soooo interesting.

Good luck with your blog.

Sandra