Thursday, June 26, 2008

You've Got to Be Kidding Me

Well, although I’m not often moved to write blog posts while I’m at work, I am so moved today to do so, more for the soothing-I need to vent or else effect. (Notice the “I am so moved” type of tone in my voice – Work mode)

I am the office manager at a large health care facility. My responsibilities are many, as I am the senior practice administrator here, although we have a Clinical Services Manger, (off on FMLA) and a medical director (boss of the doctors in a medical management sort of way) and a pharmacy manager (who is a pharmacist manager basically) I manage every thing else. Very Broad Spectrum.

We have all sorts of staff, doctor’s, nurses, medical assistants, business office receptionists (who are sometimes medical assistants) and lab and radiology technicians.

Staff come in all sorts and sizes! Some can think on their feet, some cannot, some can differentiate between what is an emergent situation and what is not. Some have technical difficulties even though their work ethic is strong and true. Like today for instance, I have a staff person who avoids speaking directly to you. She likes to leave voice mail messages or to send emails to me. Although I pass her several times during the morning, and even interact with her, an action that is initiated by me of course, and the door to my office is across from the business office area, she sends emails- almost as if by sending them, she is seeking affirmation or reminding herself of something. She sent me an email to tell me that said simply "the framed certificate in our lobby is hanging crooked." One line, one sentence, one verb. LIKE WTF, did you just straighten it? No? Well, then GO DO THAT, ok? Bonk! I ask her, “Did you straighten it? She responds – “No, I thought by telling you, it would remind me to do that”. No, by telling me, it glaringly reports to me that you can not do even the simplest of tasks on your own, without being directed and you want someone other than yourself to assume all the responsibilities. DUH. Like I don't receive a ton of other emails of some importance, and have time to read one-liners sent by this one.

I’m a little bit worn today, by the inability of others to step outside of themself and look down the road just a minute. Just a minute mind you. Turn off a light, put back your own dirty dishes, and load to the copier with paper. Oh, and don’t Tell me each time that you do!

K, enough said. UNTIL..
I got one of those email forwards from her (same lady, uh, huh, the ONE)
It was one of those types of emails that listed fun facts that perhaps you didn’t know. Such as, the King of Hearts in a deck of cards is the only King without a mustache
(OH, really now!)
Or the first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum. (ohhhhh, I get asked that one all the time!)
And for the piece de resistance, Turtles can breathe through their butts.

This is wrong in so many ways! I was once a turtle owner! I never once caught him with a snorkel to his ass while he was lurking around the murky water of his pond! I want the job of the guy who had so much time on his hands as to study turtle asses. I want the job of the lady who sent this informational tidbit to me! What gives! And just what other species can breathe through their butt? Is this a reason for malicious halitosis in regards to an unusually pleasant acquaintance whose breathe smells like that of a turdy diaper? (Like a blind date, who is otherwise appealing, but knocks you over when you try to engage in charming conversation) Or that of your precious pooch, whose slurp filled licks are dangerously close to knocking you off your chair the stench is so rank. (Oh wait, there is a good reason for THAT breath, and it does come from the same source) .

Who knew. Turtles can breathe through their butts. And your work day is going how?

Move outta da way guys, I can't catch a breath! Get off me! Keep moving will ya?


Dianna said...

I did not know that...but I feel a h*ll of a lot smarter now that I do*!*

Fannie Mae said...

That type of employee is why I don't carry a gun. ;)

Trooper Thorn said...

What she has there is a failure to communicate. If she wants to set herself a reminder it should say 'personal Reminder". Otherwise it just come across like she is bragging that the framed certificate is crooked.

You could include her in an email to her boss that says 'Some people nee to be fired'. When she asks what it means you can say "Oh, don't worry. I was just setting a reminder for something."