Saturday, July 11, 2009

Scary Places to Visit on a Friday Night

Did you ever think how normal places you may visit can be considered the scariest depending on your frame of mind?
Take last night. Friday night, ending a miserable work week, the prelude to my week of vacation. A vacation just from work, where people were bugging me. (seriously buggin me)

I had an order for Physical Therapy clutched in my hot little numb hand. Left work and the whiny incompetents behind anticipating relief from the back pain and the start of my vacation.

Let's just say that the demeanor of the tiny little soft spoken physical therapist was a sham. She led me through a chamber of horrors on her narrow little exam table. Pushing soft tissue in an ever so slow pressure that resulted in little spasms that made my shoulder jump every six seconds ALL ON IT'S OWN! Cool, way cool, but then it felt as though she were ripping my spine from inside it's muscular hideaway. Push, twist, prod and release. Until the knots that were once my twisted ligaments and muscle were now fighting back with the twitches and jumps. The numbness went away temporarily. She performed deep heat ultrasound and some more advanced pressure in key locations on my neck, trapezoidal area and lower spine.
Hey! Does this spell R.E.L.I.E.F???
Well, it did. For awhile. Then she taped my spine. Yeah, TAPED it. From my neck to midback, two strips running either side of my spine. This is to remind my posture to stay straight, to remind me to sit up and toss my shoulders back to relieve that pull from the adhesive. Weird feeling. I felt as if I were a young Joan Kusak in 15 Candles (remember her character - the girl at the dance/drinking fountain, the one with the scoliosis brace??? Loved that movie - saw it 400 times in the 80's and 90's)
So, with my nerdy posture, I scheduled 100 or so more appointments (yes, even on my vacation) because my back is truly a knotted mess and has been for a few years. Years I put off dealing with it, because of the more pressing pain the TN gave to me. (Are you getting the fact that I'm wearing a trans dermal pain patch - um, I should be feeling NO pain, and yet that back pain has broke through....must be kinda bad pain, I guess)

I decided after I left to go to the grocery store on my way home. That way I wouldn't have to disturb any pool time or day trip I would make on my vacation with annoying trips to the store.
I don't know why my car turned into Super Walmart, but it did. Convenience I suppose.
Let me just say that Super Walmart on a Friday night after 6 o'clock is truly a mecca for the unknown.
I saw a young mother with a too tight tank top showing her rubber tire of belly fat over the top of her too tight Daisy Dukes who had blue hair. Well, it was died blue over the already black hair that her gene pool gave to her (I assume). I saw a midget. I saw a Marine. I saw a Hindu Princess, complete with scarves and veils and little dangled coins lining the edges of her floor legnth wrap. I saw a few Farmer In The Dell type men, with their overalls and t-shirts. I spied a few over 55 yrs. old men with gray streaked, long, long pony tails, waiting in line reading US Weekly. While I pondered over the grapes (green or red? you choose..) my cart was pushed aside by a young Asian family who at my count had seven children (Jon & Kate wanna-be's) all of whom wanted to jump into my cart. With my strange posture, I fit right in. Ahhh, Super Walmart, the only store where I can dress like Halloween 24-7 and not feel out of place.
Truly scary.
The rest of my evening I spent fighting the urge to slump. This in going to be really interesting!

1 comment:

Mimi's Toes said...

I finally got around to reading some blog posts and came across this one and am so glad I did! This has got to be one of the funniest and true posts I've ever read! Girl, you hit the nail right on the head when you described Wal-mart on a Friday night! I'm glad I had just been in the bathroom cause I could have peed my pants from laughter.
I am so sorry about your back pain. I hope the therapy is working for you.